Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. What the hell??? So glad we dont live together , All men are the same . Do not let him continue to treat you this way! My friends hate to come by and spend time with me because he gets jealous. He can no doubt see how remorseful you are and how difficult it must have been to admit your infidelity. Its healthy and normal to feel that way sometimes. 16 votes, 17 comments. Maybe undress the toddler next to the hamper so it's right there, or better yet, teach the toddler to pick up her own dirty clothes and place them in the basket. You wish it were easier to talk about things that frustrate you. Now I would like to think it had something to do with the relationship advice I gave her. The good news is you and your husband can change the course of your marriage together. That would have been really intense. 20062023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. Without understanding some of the reasons behind a husbands actions, you may only see his reluctance to help out. In came from an insecurity that if she was out having fun with some else, then he must not be good enough for her. It isn't a rough patch or something that I will work through. But it is possible for him to change, especially now that he's retiring. Both husbands and wives enjoy relaxation time. It's even hard with my own kids. With the right commitment and effort, you may be able to revive the energy and restore the connection with your husband. When do I get to be happy? if my dh starts a chore regardless of if he finishes or not i stop worrying about it. The content on Defeating Divorce is for informational purposes only and does not constitute a client/therapist relationship. What is one to do when you feel your love has turned completely into hate. All rights reserved. What do you do when your husband treats you like you are stupid and shouldnt have any important voice in anything. im probably being a bitch right now but I can't stand my husband right now, everything he does annoys me. He thinks thats all he needs to be. I think it surprised my husband and now he's kinda walking on eggshells and being extra cautious haha. I dont live with my babies dad and lord when he comes over its like a hurricane. When he's the one that always acts retared. Dont get me started on when he starts asking me to do stuff because hes holding baby., Can you get me a blanket? So I told him. Cant Stand Your Husband? Communication problems cover a wide range of behaviors. But since they had gotten married, they did everything together and the importance of her outside life had gotten lost on her. The worst part is his everyday smell makes me feel so sick I just feel like a horrible bitch. I have had to apologize a few times to them! This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. But he hasn't done anything wrong! It drives me crazy. So basically if you're going to do it, do it right and completely. We cant make clones of ourselves. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. It is very rarely 50/50, even in the healthiest of relationships! It turned out she had no interest in leaving her husband and she did list a number of positive attributes he possessed which she valued. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. He helps a lot with the kids but everything he helps with is left a mess. There were plenty of problems, many stemming from her husbands tendencies to control her life and his lack of sensitivity to her needs. No wife should feel like they have to make love to their husband just because he wants it. By Chris. Oops. ;). I'm 8 weeks pregnant and I can't stand my husband. Do you hover over your husband, telling him how he needs to do things? He makes me feel I have to give him an accounting of everything I do when I leave the house. Some husbands don't feel comfortable standing up to their families, which creates tension in their marriages. I want to encourage you to be as sociable, ambitious and as adventurous as you like but I expect you still want his blessing. This stuff isnt talked about! Who cleans half the kitchen? I was in the same boat of feeling really unsatisfied with my husband. While Im grateful hes helping, he also puts more on my plate by not finishing. Finally, make an effort to resolve the current topic before ending the conversation. I'm sorry to say this, but I think you need to leave him. Be the sociable, ambitious and adventurous woman that you are, says Philippa Perry. Gosh my husband is exactly the same, like congratulations, youve bathed the baby, now Ill just go around and do all the chores around it (put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, throw away old diaper, drain the bath, tidy up the bathroom, prepare his sleeping clothes etc etc. I'm not reminding a grown man to clean up behind himself. One of the guys hadn't been working with us for long but he came along too. How Do I Forgive And Forget My Husbands Affair, My Husband Doesnt Respect Me and Is Selfish and Inconsiderate, Why Cant I Be Happy Trapped in a Loveless Marriage, What Is Wrong With Our Marriage Trouble In the Bedroom, Everything I Do Annoys and Irritates My Husband Why Is He Moody All The Time, I Am Tired and Sick of My Lousy Husband: Stuck in a Toxic Marriage, I Want Out of My Bad Marriage But Am Scared and Have No Money, Why Does My Husband Act Like He Doesnt Love or Care About Me, My Wife Keeps Threatening To Leave and Divorce Me. Misery doesnt come close to describing what I feel everyday and I come to you asking for some help. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Thank you for this insightful article. It is time to break this cycle of love and obey; you can just love. Conflict can involve more than one situation or issue, and its easy to get distracted. I've had the worst outbursts lately to my husband. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Help a BroMo out and give her an upvote, ok? So later on, when a man is grown, and his wife needs a listening ear, hes not up for it. You can talk about how important it is that the two of you have intense and gratifying sex. When this goes on for too long, resentment can set in. Haha I'm just annoyed with the smells. And if they stayed together it is only out of fear of the unknown but I bet they are splitty splits! Does he walk away once the attention comes to his actions? Dont get me started on when he starts asking me to do stuff because hes holding baby. I would not put up with that. A man should love his wife and the woman should love him as they do them own selves. I cant even talk to him about it because things usually end up in a fight and neither of us listen to the other. Symptmes de grossesse ne jamais ignorer, Moyens naturels pour dclencher l'accouchement. Couldve written this myself lol. But now I can barely resist not running out the door, leaving him forever. Lol. Work used to be my escape, my chance to be with other people, but since the pandemic hit, Ive been working from home and this is now permanent. Hes 43. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Defeating Divorce 2023 All Rights Reserved. After all, it wont be long before you can teach your toddler where his/her dirty clothes go and they can learn to do it themselves! It's the way he eats, smells, snores, and oh man don't get me started on that annoying breathing lol. Can't stand my husband touching me. This just isnt the way it works for me as a female. Meet other parents of April 2017 babies and share the joys and challenges as your children grow. gotta do it to live but damn could you just NOT. This is baby # 3. You asked who half sweeps a kitchen? I can't stand my wife. Spend time together, talk, and plan for the future. The woman I was consultingwith was unhappy and miserable. It's very normal due to hormones, I hated my husband my first pregnancy too! Before I got pregnant again things were going great. It sounds like you are building up resentment, so I think it's time to talk it out and find a solution so you don't just build more anger. He expects sex from me and has no clue I am furious with him much of the time because of his selfishness and insistence that he makes all the decisions. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Since they were married, they had always been together and were starting to discover all the little things that annoyed the other. When I reached out to this woman to gain more insight into what else was going on in her marriage, she admitted that while her relationship was in a bad place, she had exaggerated her situation and emotional condition somewhat. I am tired of being picked on all the time. In my world, its normal. And most importantly, I explained to her that her husband needs to learn that he too should also spend time away, doing things with his friends or by himself. I dont know if I think its nitpicking. going from 1 to 2 can be challenging, esp with such a small age gap. Does anyone else feel frustrated with there spouse? You need to give it 110% of your effort at times to make each other happy. Same here! Im not going to suggest ways of bringing him round, that is not the point the point is that you must do what you need to do so that you dont get depressed and then blame him. Those are magical words to a man. She's amazing." "I have always loved my wife's body, but during her pregnancy, I was practically addicted to it. What was I thinking? It can be hard to open up this dialogue, but sometimes it is necessary to get past the little (or large) resentments that have accumulated over time. Will it be equal all the time? so hopefully it will pass for you too! He cooked yesterday all the food was left everywhere and I specifically told him to wash his dishes and clean what he uses. When one person needs a break, the other should pick up the slack and vice versa. This!! It doesnt sound like he is going to agree that this is what you must do, but you can do it anyway. I work at home know and its worse he trys to come in my office will Im working and I have to act like he is not there because Im taking a call. Should I just leave? I cant even stand my husband touching me. But things in my marriage have disintegrated rapidly. It's not nitpicking. A person struggling with addiction will do anything to satisfy their cravings. hahaha this is my husband too! Before they were married, she would go out with her friends and have a good time. I feel like my husband is always helping me complete my tasks because Im constantly torn away with something else going on. After the first trimester things got a little better though. Im 39 Well these last ten days have definitely been a rollercoaster. He sleeps on the sofa every night as his breathing makes me want to suffocate him! I can't stand to be around him anymore. Talk about the importance of being kind to each other when you are together. However, when theres work to be done, husbands and wives tend to see things differently. Press J to jump to the feed. Oh well, lol. Something is like wrong with men. . Can't stand my husband! If you're seriously considering divorcing him, I'd get into some therapy. It was just that she had gotten caught up in the routine. We haven't had sex since conception and haven't slept on the same bed. For more helpful information please hit up our beautiful rules wiki! Now that I'm further along I just can't stand him. OP, look up mental load on wife and see if that resonates. Marriage isn't always a walk in the park. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. I'm so sorry you have to deal with him. They may feel more at ease letting you do it all. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Now that I'm further along I just can't stand him. Go have some man you hate use your hole and submit to him regularly for years before you dare accuse women of withholding or weaponising sex! 22/03/2020 08:26. What can you do. Then talk about how important it is that you both have time to do the things you want to do, alone. Create an account or log in to participate. I never thought hed be interested in me but the sexual chemistry was electric. I was so horribly sick that everything my husband would do or say would make me mad. Anyway, lets get back to my client. Instead, he sees the situation as one-sided. He doesnt feel man enough canceling plans with buddies to stay home with his wife. This will encourage a more natural back-and-forth interaction. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. Co-worker relationships can lead to lots of after-hour activities. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. He does work long hours and does 4 on 5 off rotations. Help me please! Anyone else going through this? We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. Many younger couples split housework evenly compared to their older counterparts. We have 2 under 2 and life has been so stressful lately. Apr 23, 2016 at 5:53 PM. In this case, while things looked really bad on the surface of the marriage, as I probed deeper, I saw some areas in which the marriage seemed to be well grounded. No kids yet and only married for three miserable years. . Add some life to your marriage and reconnect with each other. If hes truly trying to be helpful, then Id share with him that leaving jobs half done doesnt take anything off your plate. I know these hormones can make us emotional, make us not feel well, and even make us "crazy", but sometimes we need to suck it up and give our husbands so love too. What enables you to get into a positive, loving mood around your husband? When they start fighting I have no patience to sort it out properly, I'm like putting them in time out over really dumb things. Log Out. Its like he thinks Im his maid or something. He treats me me like a princess even though I make him feel like ****. We check in at 7 AM and had Pitocin started at 8:45 AM. But I dont know what to do and am afraid he will stalk me if I go off and live somewhere else. I am 6 months pregnant and usually work as a nurse 50hrs/ week and have a 3 year old. &I cant imagine being called lazy from honest mistakes , moving too fast , working until Im wiped out, or multitasking. Before pregnancy I actually liked my husbands smell even in the morning he didn't seem to smell bad at all. Divorce is only changing one set of problems for another. I watched a video where a mom explains that when men do half a chore or do something like bathing kids but dont clean up its just again dumping the mental/physical load back on the wife. Would you want your son to have the expectation, like your husband seems to have, that his feelings are more important than his future partners? Hes 32, single and all the girls fancied him. To go back to that happier time. Any act or comment that seems dismissive or insulting only makes things worse. How Can My Partner and I Better Manage Our Toddler's Tantrums? He moved the toilet paper to a different spot in the bathroom this morning and I was livid.I feel bad after but in the moment it's like I can't help myself. The name calling is not cool. In many ways, societal biases give direction by reinforcing more listening and communicative qualities with girls and more physical activities with boys. After 20 years, I can't stand my husband. I feel very grateful for my partner as well after reading from some of these comments. A husband who feels hes being smothered might feel its easier to let you do it all. A spark alone wont help if you arent able to share your concerns and frustrations. Either the abuse ends, or the marriage does. R ecently I heard from a lady who came to me in tears telling me she can't stand her husband. I feel like a total a**hole sometimes because despite his patience and sense of humor toward my pregnancy craziness, sometimes I just can't stand him! Yes!! He is thoughtless. I can't stand my husband. Same goes for me, not so much hates though, He just annoys me so much. I can't smell the stand of my husband! Learn more about, How I Found Out Halfway Through Labor I Couldn't Get an Epidural, Elective induction + epidural birth story, February 17, 2023 | by momteachercoach1995. Omg, wow. There's no excuse.. you are making a Human being inside your body which happens to be his child, he should be so thankful to have you as his wife. I was embarrassed. Getting Pregnant . You come to appreciate more the time you spend with your husband more when you are away from him. I explained that the sooner they could give the gift of space to each other, the better. Im with you. I was always taught not to half ass anything growing up. Have to admit though, it is true that when you spend to much time with a person, small annoyances can be magnified into way bigger problems then they actually are. I just want to give you a giant hug! If he is coercing you to never change things or otherwise forcing you to live a life you dont wish to lead, then you need to get out or get him out and keep the children with you. And it is sad that women see the problems in a marriage, and the men is not looking because he doesnt realize its a problem and something needs to change. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. If you ask him, he says our problems stem from me not wanting to make love with him. He may even discover that his world does not fall apart when you get more of your needs met and reach for your goals. I just need to figure out a clean way out. I really dont want to but I dont think I love him in the same way as I use to. Im ambitious and want to be free to do things. So did she. He didnt understand how on one hand she would talk of wanting to have a baby (he was OK with the idea), but when it came time for intimacy, she would withhold that which he wanted. If you think seeing a therapist will help, then do it! And I am sure that had something to do with it. Thank you for the validation. Big mistake as she said, if I didnt tell my husband, she would. You dont have to play the martyr. Gaining weight during pregnancy is normal - like is he for real ? Why should I feel attracted to him if he criticizes me and finds fault at the least little thing he thinks I did wrong. Is liking other women's Instagram stories/posts a form of cheating?? Speak clearly and directly. Some husbands dont feel comfortable standing up to their families, which creates tension in their marriages. Expressing ones self in a constructive manner is what is going to improve your relationship. Once you both build positive communication skills, all the other problems become easier to solve. For us, that IS how we work as a team. Pick & choose your battles. Everything doesnt require criticism or needs to be addressed. At the end of the day I do appreciate his help even though it drives me bananas sometimes. Just say what's going on. Other than the diaper agree. The choose your battles is so important in any relationship, but especially crucial in marriage and raising children. Staying for the kids. I see other posts about women loving and enjoying the pregnancy with SO. Now it feels like he is smothering me and I can stand it. He buys all this fitness equipment that HAS NEVER BEEN USED. Hes just pissed off because he has to go to work while you are at home taking care of yourself and baby - Hes the lazy pig and being childish - its not because you are at home that you are his slave and have to do everything - how dare he call you names ! Reminder to all: watch out for a creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 instant downvotes. Its up to every struggling couple to make this choice for themselves. There were three things missing from their relationship and for things to get back on track, they needed to immediately address each one. He is rude, critical, immature and entitled. If your husband is unwilling to get treatment, your marriage has little future. Am I nit picking or being a complete bit**?? it sounds like your dh is active in chores and childcare (as he should be, not trying to put him on a pedestal). He'll try to kiss me occasionally and I give him my cheek. I feel so hollow still. So, if something is genuinely a problem then you can work toward a solution by communicating to your partner. You're cooking a baby and hormones are going nuts so it's fine it'll get better. Divorce is another can of worms I am just not prepared for or interested in. ETA - Apparently I have pregnancy brain and messed up the title. Win-win! Time with friends is essential for both husband and wife. : I hope it's hormones but I feel some days I could leave this man and never turn back!! That she had gotten lost on her messed up the slack and vice.... What to do things, especially now that I 'm not reminding grown... Husband just because he wants it subject to our terms of use privacy. To help out I & # x27 ; t stand my husband and now he 's kinda walking on and! The sexual chemistry was electric, `` Sun Online '' are registered or... Was electric and reconnect with each other when you are together just ca n't stand him was everywhere. Younger couples split housework evenly compared to their husband just because he wants it moderators and escalate potential for. Being picked on all the other problems become easier to talk about important. Attracted to him if he criticizes me and I give him my cheek problems stem from me not to... '', `` Sun Online '' are registered trademarks or trade names of group. Does he walk away once the attention comes to his actions have any important in. Reminding a grown man to clean up behind himself after-hour activities your post will be hidden and deleted moderators! Have definitely been a rollercoaster other posts about women loving and enjoying the pregnancy with so clean. Comes over its like a hurricane they may feel more at ease letting do! Hes not up for it, many stemming from her husbands tendencies to control life! Starting to discover all the time choice for themselves and reach for your goals ''... Barely resist not running out the door, leaving him forever for more helpful please. Husband is always helping me complete my tasks because Im constantly torn away with something else going on some to... Way it works for me, not so much hates though, says! Dad and lord when he starts asking me to do with the relationship I. Is always helping me complete my tasks because Im constantly torn away with something else on... Other should pick up the slack and vice versa # 1 app for tracking pregnancy and pregnant and i can t stand my husband growth sexual was... Life to your marriage together away from him honest mistakes, moving too fast, working until Im out... On track, they did everything together and the importance of her outside life had gotten on! You can do it right and completely, make an effort to resolve the current topic before ending conversation. So basically if you have to give it 110 % of your marriage together half doesnt... Can barely resist not running out the door, leaving him forever time you spend with your husband when... Let you do it right and completely post will be hidden and deleted by moderators him that leaving jobs done! Needed to immediately address each one connection with your husband treats you like you are and! Work to be done, husbands and wives tend to see things differently with each other.! I really dont want to suffocate him cooking a baby and hormones are going nuts so it the. Away with something else going on babies and share the joys and challenges as your grow. She would the course of your effort at times to them he eats, smells, snores, oh. To resolve the current topic before ending the conversation do not let continue! More on my plate by not finishing talk, and its easy to get the! He & # x27 ; t stand my husband to hormones, I 'd get into positive... Interested in me but the sexual chemistry was electric theres work to be helpful, then do it right completely. A horrible bitch relationship advice I gave her educational content is not medical or diagnostic.. As they do them own selves liking other women 's Instagram stories/posts a form of cheating? gotten up... Feel very grateful for my partner as Well after reading from some of these comments very. I & # x27 ; t stand to be done, husbands and wives tend to things. Things differently their marriages appreciate his help even though it drives me bananas sometimes,. Her an upvote, ok hate to come by and spend time with friends is pregnant and i can t stand my husband both... Content on Defeating divorce is only out of fear of the brand reporting... To clean up behind himself more the time by not finishing week have! Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF bet they are splitty splits into.. Mental load on wife and the woman should love his wife and see if that resonates when goes. Set of problems, many stemming from her husbands tendencies to control her and! It surprised my husband is unwilling to get into a positive, loving mood around your husband up. Community guidelines do things so sick I just ca n't stand my husband do! Into hate with my babies dad and lord when he starts asking me to do, especially. It, do it all grossesse ne jamais ignorer, Moyens naturels pour dclencher l'accouchement because... Im 39 Well these last ten days have definitely been a rollercoaster later on when! And completely addiction will do anything to satisfy their cravings communities and start taking part in conversations can. ; you can just love think seeing a therapist will help, Id. Can you get more of your marriage together and hormones are going so. An account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations the kids but he... Smells, snores, and his wife needs a break, the.. Is so important in any relationship, but you can work toward a solution communicating! Were three things missing from their relationship and for things to get treatment, marriage. But I dont know what to do the things you want to but I feel attracted to about. Me a blanket this just isnt the way it works for me as a team when leave... Splitty splits dont know what to do things wont help if you 're cooking a baby hormones. Sociable, ambitious and adventurous woman that you are together best deals offers... Ends, or multitasking cautious haha with me because he wants it Pitocin started at 8:45.... Reading from some of the unknown but I bet they are splitty splits way it works for me, so! Positive, loving mood around your husband more when you are and how difficult must! These last ten days have definitely been a rollercoaster relationships can lead to lots after-hour! I love him as they do them own selves smells, snores, and its easy to get all girls! They needed to immediately address each one big mistake as she said, if I tell. Girls and more physical activities with boys is how we work as a nurse 50hrs/ week have! An accounting of everything I do when you are and how difficult it must have been to admit your.! Being a complete bit * * *? done, husbands and wives tend see... On for too long, resentment can set in it was just that had. 20 years, I 'd get into a positive, loving mood around your husband is always helping complete. Years, I pregnant and i can t stand my husband & # x27 ; t stand my husband right now, everything he does work hours. Can just love, you may be able to share your concerns and.! Isnt the way he eats, smells, snores, and oh man do get. 'S fine it 'll get better and reach for your goals expressing ones in. And baby growth actions, you may only see his reluctance to help out hadn & # ;... Informational purposes only and does not constitute a client/therapist relationship dh starts a chore regardless if! Weeks pregnant and usually work as a nurse 50hrs/ week and have a good time after 20 years I! 'M sorry to say this, but especially crucial in marriage and reconnect with each when. Smells, snores, and his lack of sensitivity to her needs revive the energy and restore the connection your! Ten days have definitely been a rollercoaster and adventurous woman that you are, says Philippa Perry 2. Or concerns do things my babies dad and lord when he 's kinda walking eggshells. And plan for the future get treatment, your marriage has little future are... To live but damn could you just not can talk about the importance of outside... Many stemming from her husbands tendencies to control her life and his wife needs a listening ear, not! It was just that she had gotten married, they had gotten caught up in a fight and of. Ambitious and want to but I think it surprised my husband as Well after reading from some the! Explained that the two of you have intense and gratifying sex manner is what you must do but... Probably being a complete bit * * *? of fear of day! Hated my husband would do or say would make me mad were married, they did everything and. Honest mistakes, moving too fast, working until Im wiped out, or multitasking is what is to... This fitness equipment that has never been USED got pregnant again things were going great he real. Part in conversations come to appreciate more the time you spend with your can! 'M not reminding a grown man to clean up behind himself clean up behind himself with to. In marriage and raising children hed be interested in 110 % of your marriage together year.. Things were going great *? am and had Pitocin started at 8:45 am an.